A sleeping drug to be specific.
Tiwa took 25 mg of Amitriptyline a couple of days and she could stop sleeping. Any other person would have been grateful that they can sleep for days on end but not Tiwa. She started researching the drug. I don’t know why she decided to research it this year given that she has used it in the past (around the time AJ joined us) but she was worried that 25 mg rendered her useless for days.
Let me just show you a screenshot of what comes up on google.
They say ignorance is bliss, so indulge me while I vent, because Tiwa decided to share this new information.
You are probably wondering why I’d be upset ba. Well, 2 years ago when Tiwa’s mum came around to help with AJ, she brought this miracle drug with her. We were struggling with sleep and she gave it to us. We both took 25 mg each and slept for 2 days. (This is partly why I was puzzled that Tiwa decided to read up on it now). Tiwa’s mum gave us a lot of warning to be fair.
It is a strong anti-depressant, don’t use it anyhow. It is ok this time because you guys have not been sleeping properly.
Yes ma. Thank you ma. We won’t ma.
Yimu.
I have a high opinion of myself, I am not depressed so I didn’t have anything to worry about. At first, I followed the advice and would only use it when I don’t have Nytol. However, when 2022 came with its bunch of fuckery, I told my friend coming over from Nigeria to come with a year’s worth. By the end of last year, I was using 100mg every night. I was happy, I could finally sleep peacefully.
That screenshot has been living in my head rent free for 2 days now. I done fucked up.
Last night was the first time in a while that I tried to sleep raw and my thoughts started doing its thing.
The first thought as per usual whenever I am sober was fuck everyone and fuck the world. Fuck the Tories, fuck Rishi Sunak because the fuck are you doing trying to pass a bill to prevent strikes. Fuck Harry and fuck Meghan. Shut the fuck up both of you. Because let me get this straight, this nigga that was born into a family that raped the world for centuries and did fuck all to get to the place he is now is…what, doing a documentary and writing a book about what? Discrimination against his mixed-race ex actress American wife. Fuck Harry and fuck anyone that has any ounce of pity for this clown.
Meghan. This is so painfully simple. In Yoruba culture when you bring someone home to marry, the family will research the spouse-to-be’s family, for any red flag. There is a literal fucking show on Netflix on this family, dripping in red flag. And you still went ahead and married in to the family, and you are now doing a documentary. What is this? Its like walking around a school in America without wearing a vest and complaining when you get shot. The fuck? When people show you who they are, motherfucker believe them! And fuck everyone for joining this pity wank.
Then I thought of Avatar 2. Lord. 1 billion dollars it cost them to make this movie. 1 BILLION. Usually I would say spoilers, but there is nothing to spoil because the plot didn’t move forward one bit. After 13 years and 1 billion dollars, the only plot progression was the fact that the blue dude popped out a couple of kids. That’s it. These fuckers ended up in the exact same fucking position they were in at the beginning of the movie. 3 hours of fucking nothingness! 1 BILLION. To be fair, maybe…just maybe because I am from Nigeria and I don’t need a movie to illustrate the evil of colonisation and invasion so I can’t appreciate the theme of the movie.
Then I thought of Nigeria, and that video of Tinubu licking the mic. I mean, surely, surely with the current state of Nigeria and how it has been going downhill since Buhari became president…surely he won’t get elected. Except he will. I then thought of my friend, who is fortunate enough to have a British passport but is still holding out in Lagos for that one life changing contract.
My thoughts, mercifully then shifted to myself and how I need to be more like my brother Temi. I used to think Temi was difficult, but he isn’t. He has put in a lot of work on himself and he has mastered the art of setting boundaries. I will never forget the time when he called a family meeting because my mum did that annoying thing of passing him the phone to speak to our Aunty in Nigeria. I was upset with him because I thought guy, it is not even that deep! I don’t think anyone has made that mistake of passing him the phone to speak to lagbaja ever since. Meanwhile, I get heart palpitation whenever I am with my mum and she is on the phone with a relative in Nigeria. Everybody knows Temi and they respect his boundaries, and we don’t love him any less. Temi is now my hero.
Then I thought of AJ, and I was overwhelmed with joy and fear. That was the last thing I remembered.
I cannot be going through this roller coaster of emotions every night. I need a drug.
Happy New Year.