Whats the point of all of this anyway, we are all going to die, aren't we?
I was 14 when I said that to my dad, and I have never seen a grown man panic like he did. He went as far as getting one of my uncle to have a word with me and the best he could do was say I am too young to be thinking like that. They didn't really provide a counter argument...no "yeah we will all die but that doesn't mean you should not live a good life" or something like that. I was 14, two grown men should have been able to provide some counter argument.
Ope you should try stoicism, I think the philosophy suits you.
Tiwa has been going on about how I should give her credit for pointing me towards stoicism, so I guess this is me on record giving her credit.
The main reason I am hesitant to give her any credit is because the more I read about stoicism the more it feels like I am reading a love letter to my soul.
I thought I'd been winging it but I have been living according to the ancient stoics...for the most part because I don't agree with some of the things they said...especially the theology of it. But that is the beauty of it all. It is not a religion. If anything this is going to help me a better Christian.
Achieving tranquility via detachment. That is it. Thats my life goal now, tranquility via detachment.
Detachment from everything that is not in your control. Being...unfuckable. How's that for a life goal, to be unfuckable. You cannot fuck with my tranquility.
I feel like I should maybe expand on some of the practices...but I am not sure how to do that without coming across as preachy. Tiwa has already permanently rolled back her eyes now because any small thing...that is not what Epictetus would have done.
If I have to expand on one of the practices though, it will be negative visualisation, because that is something I have been doing ever since AJ joined us. I KNOW that these good times will not last, she will grow up, become a teenager...move out...I will die...so every single second I spend with her right now is extra sweet. Thats sorta what negative visualisation is...thinking about how things can be worse...like...Putin can literally do a madness any minute now. There was an emergency alert testing a couple of weeks ago for God knows what. The climate is doing a madness. Tech boss are warning us about A.I. Things can get exponentially worse at a moments notice, so this very moment where things are good is to be valued mehn.
One of the misconceptions about stoicism is that they are passive and unambitious, which is an easy mistake to make. The author of one of the books used an extreme example: we all want money, but we will not sacrifice our child for the sake of money (obviously never met kanayo o kanayo). I want money, I want to advance in my career (i love my career)...but if I don't amass the kind of money I want in life...that is ok too. Infact if anything, I went as far as admitting to Tiwa recently that I was happier in Barnsley...when I had less and was in a less fulfilling job!
My least favourite practice that is recommended is the act of duty towards humanity. I dont blame the stoics for coming up with this because on paper, it is a good idea and thousands of years ago it was probably a valid advice to help progress civilization and society. But Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius didnt have instagram, twitter or tiktok. There was no way for them to know the full spectrum of the stupidity of human beings. There was no *insert whatever challenge that is a thing now*, they were not exposed to this amount of stupidity, so I can understand why they want to make a duty to be part of society. If the aim in life is to attain tranquility, fraternizing with this specie in its current iteration is definitely not the way to go about it. So I am gonna have to agree to disagree with the ancient stoics on that one.
Memento Mori
The view they have on death is another thing I find endearing. They compared life to a book; just because a book is a million pages doesn't make it a good book. A book can be just a few hundred pages long and it can be a brilliant book. Just because someone lives long, doesn't mean they've lived a good life. If an apocalypse happens right now, I am offing myself without a second thought because what quality of life am I gonna have in an apocalyptic world please? I've never understood the concept of clinging on to life because of the fear of death rather than the quality of life on offer. Pull the plug please!
Its been a refreshing few weeks to say the least. Its not everytime you come across a philosophy that fits your outlook on life like a glove and I am grateful I came across this because I now have something to help me be a better version of myself and I can't wait to see how I evolve in the coming years. I will get the perfect opportunity to see how stoic I am next month sha, when I start in front of a judge and I have to answer for my driving transgression...should be fun.