I think, and I hope I am not jinxing it, but I think I have cured my insomnia yall. Considering the point I was at when I wrote THIS, ( it was a very low point) I am damn proud of myself for getting to this stage where I am no longer anxious when it is time to sleep.
I can’t understate how stressful sleeping became, especially the night before a day I have to get up early to go to work. I would lay in bed, praying for sleep and the longer I was awake the more stressed I became and I just spiral until sleep decides to be merciful and show up. Days after such nights are usually brutal, for everyone that interacts with me. It was not healthy.
I have covered how I found some respite with Amitriptyline, and the feedback from that post put an end to that habit. I tried the supplements recommended, and they did help, I felt a bit relaxed but I think my insomnia was too deep to give in to the supplements. Meditating was the only one that came close, and I don’t know if you have ever tried meditating but that thing is not as straightforward and it requires a level of discipline. The few times I was able to follow the guide I felt relaxed enough to sleep peacefully, most times though, I fall at the first hurdle when the instructor tells me to sit down, relax and clear my mind. Lol "relax and clear your mind".
AJ is now going through her terrorist two phase as well, and part of the terror is that she doesn’t sleep through the night and when she wakes up during the night she only has one thing on her mind. Everybody must play with her until she falls back asleep.
Wake up daddy, daddy wake up, WAKE UP. Wake up mummy, mummy wake up, WAKE UP.
There is something inherently sweet about a cute toddler smiling at you and telling you to wake up, it is sweeter than waking up to that end of the world iphone alarm for example. When you are struggling with insomnia however, and everything moment of peaceful rest counts, it becomes a bit trickier. It does not help that somehow Tiwa has developed the ability to tune out AJ's voice and she also has the ability to go back seamlessly to sleep when AJ physically assualts her (as she does when the “wake up mummy, mummy wake up doesn’t work).
I got to a point where I came to an agreement with my body; suffer for 2 days and by the third day be so exhausted that you’d have no choice but to burn out and sleep. 2 days on, 1 day off. I accepted my destiny and planned my week accordingly.
That all changed a few weeks ago when I was chilling downstairs and I was covering myself with the duvet and I thought: hmmm, I wonder how cosy I’d be if I doubled up with the duvet in the guest bedroom. Na so I tried out the idea...do you know the sensation you get after a full body massage? That was what I was experiencing, free of charge. I fell asleep on the recliner yall, and that is the least comfortable place in the house to fall asleep.
When I woke up, I couldn’t wait to share my experience with Tiwa.
Dude! I think I finally have a solution to my insomnia
Ehen, what
I doubled the duvets and its like I just received a massage
Oh yes now, you need weighted blankets
Whats that?
Blankets that are so heavy that they weigh you down
Dude why are u just telling me this
Ope I have ve been saying this since now...
Well I am getting it! If it is anything like the experience I just had, I think I have a long term solution to my insomnia.
So I looked into the weighted blankets and we both got a 7kg blanket each.
I couldn’t wait for us to try them. When they finally came I laid them out on the sofa in anticipation, waiting for Tiwa so we could both experience the heavenly feeling at the same time.
Tiwa wasn’t impressed when she slipped underneath hers, I’d be honest and admit that I was a bit underwhelmed too.
Ope this is underwhelming now
Oh, you dont like it
Are you enjoying yours
Well, not yet but I can see what they are trying to do.
The fact that I had the relaxed experience with two duvets convinced me that there is something to the idea of sleeping under a weighted blanket. Tiwa doesn’t have that benchmark so she wasn’t sold.
Maybe its because of my leg sha because it is making the pain worse
Maybe
Because if this is it, I will return my own o
Dude, I think you should give it a chance and use it after your leg heals
Hmm maybe sha.
That was how I was left with two 7kg blankets and naturally, naturally I wondered what it would be like to lay them on top of each under and sleep under a combined weight of 14kg blanket.
I did not wonder for long and I gave it a go.
I am beaming as I am typing this paragraph because that was the moment I knew I had conquered my sleeping issues, because let me tell you what happens when you sleep under two blankets that weigh 14kg. They pin you the fuck down. You can’t toss and turn restlessly. Nope you are pinned to the bed, and not in a way that is suffocating or crush. In a loving way, like a gaint teddy bear hugging you to sleep. The needless waking up to pee is reduced as well, the blankets are like last last you will pee on the bed. And I almost did once, before I had to force myself to do push up to slip out of bed. (I just got another idea to do push ups with the two duvets folded on my back). Sleeping became an unending massage session. They even protect me from AJ’S assault because she can't lift them off my body!
Tiwa's leg will heal soon and she will want to have her blanket back and I can’t wait for that moment because it gives me the opportunity to buy another one and I have been doing my research. I can get a 9kg blanket. So I get to sleep under 16kg blanket, and whilst that is exciting, it is not as exciting as 16kg + 7kg ...cos I have to try it. I gats.
The only thing I am not sure of is what happens when you have sleep paralysis under 23kg blanket sha, maybe thats how I go out. Wouldn't that be ironic? But in the word of Agrippinus:
I must die, it is now, then I die now, if it is not then I must sleep, for it is sleepy time and dying I will tend to later.